10 Funny Jew Jokes

Two Jews are sitting on a bridge and killing some time.

The first one dips his feet in the ocean and shouts: "It is cold! It is cold!"

The other one dips his nose and shouts: "It is also very deep!"

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Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?

He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says, "Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?"

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Why do Jews have big noses?

Because the air is free.

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A Jewish boy asks his father for twenty dollars.

His father replied, "Ten dollars, what in the world do you need five dollars for, I'd be happy to give you a dollar, here's a quarter."

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In the Jewish doctrine, when does a fetus become a human?

When it graduates from medical school.

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What's a Jews favourite band?


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How do you know when your on a Jewish golf course?

The players don't yell 'Fore!' they yell '$3.99!'

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The United States of America has recently elected the first Jewish president and it's the day of his inauguration.

In the front row sits the new president's mother, who leans over to a senator sitting next to her.

"You see that man over there with his hand on the Bible?"

The Senator whispers back, "Yes, I do."

Mom proudly says, "His brother's a doctor!"

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Why do Jews wear yarmulkes?

Because the hats with little propellors cost extra!

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There was a Jew who was late for work during the power failure because he got stuck on the escalator.

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