Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
Brunette: "I don't know"
Blonde: "Why doesn't anyone know!"
What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum, you just can't beat it!
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
"Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"
"Yes, of course..."
"Great! I never could before!"
What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?
A Budweiser in each hand!
Why are synagogues round?
So the Jew's can't hide in the corner when the collection box comes round.
A little old lady.
A little old lady who?
All this time, I had no idea you could yodel.
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.
Little Johnny's father asked for report card.
Johnny replied, "I don't have it."
"Why not?" His father asked.
"My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."