An elderly couple is in church.
The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, "I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?"
The husband replies, "First off, replace the batteries in your hearing aid!"
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the zoo.
Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
She found out Big Ben is only a clock.
I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
Two men were talking about their wives.
The first man says, "My wife is an angel."
The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they're gonna pay. You have my Word.