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How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. It's a hardware problem.

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I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but it doesn't matter, none of them work.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just Juan.

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Wife: "Honey, I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm dad."
Wife: "No you’re not."

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Why did the blonde get so excited about finishing a jigsaw puzzle in six months?
Because the box said it was for "2 to 4 years."

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A mother tells her little boy, "Johnny, you mustn't eat too many lollies or I'll hide the lolly jar."
Johnny asks, "Why?"
His mother says, "Because something bad will happen! Your tummy will blow up big like a balloon and then pop!"
The next day at church, the boy is sitting next to a pregnant woman.
He points to her belly smiling and says, "I know what you've been doing!"

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"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In a stork?!"

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What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Why do Jews have big noses?
Because the air is free.

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What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth!

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