Jokes of the Day

Jesus was a typical man. They always say they'll come back, but you never see them again.


A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
The blonde was very angry about this. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
The blonde did not know how the salesman had recognized her. This time, she got a haircut and new color, a new outfit and big sunglasses. She then waited a few days before she approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.


The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to upset you.


Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.


I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.


I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but it doesn't matter, none of them work.


Why do Jews wear yarmulkes?
Because the hats with little propellers cost extra!


"Waiter, what is this?"
"It's bean soup."
"I'm not asking what it's been, I'm asking what it is!"


“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.


Why did the blonde get so excited about finishing a jigsaw puzzle in six months?
Because the box said it was for "2 to 4 years."

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