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Jokes of the Day


Old woman in church: "I've just done a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"
Husband: "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

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When the moth hit the windshield, what was the last thing to go through its mind? It's butt!

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Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

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How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? How many can you afford?

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Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.

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Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

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Wife: "Honey, I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm dad."
Wife: "No you’re not."

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Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?"
The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

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Why are basketball players messy eaters? They’re always dribbling.

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Why can't a blonde dial 911?
She can't find the eleven.

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