Why did the toilet paper trip on the door mat?
It ran out.
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What do you call it when Shrek gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
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Why did the Mallard fail as a comic?
His humor was too fowl.
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How does Shrek like his eggs?
Ogre easy.
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What do nuclear plants serve their workers for the Labor Day party?
Fission Chips.
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If Joker and Harley Quinn have a son.
The name is Joaquin.
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Why do anteaters never get colds?
Because their noses are full of anty-bodies!
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I just heard that the Dunkinβ Donuts in my area will initiate with a surcharge for coming in without wearing a mask.
Theyβre going to call it a cough fee.
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My overweight boss asked me to roast him at his retirement party.
I told him that as a lifelong Muslim, I was forbidden from consuming pork.
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So hot dog, we meat again.
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Who invented King Arthurβs Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
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How do you cure someone with a pumpkin spice addiction?
Apply the pumpkin patch.
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The only love triangle I want is a slice of pizza.
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What is the most common illness in China?
Kung Flu.
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Yo mamaβs nose is so big she can smell a fart coming.
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The moon is so cheeky, itβs always playing lunar-tricks.
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I taught my son speed reading and Iβm proud to say that he managed to finish βHarry Potter and the Philosopherβs Stoneβ in an hour and a half.
I know itβs only six words, but itβs a start.
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My exercise routine includes running away from my problems, running late, and running my mouth non-stop.
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What if Cinderella was a baking slave instead of a cleaning slave?
Then her name would be mozarella.
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Knock! Knock!
βWhoβs there?β
βCash.β
βCash, who?β
βNo thanks, but Iβd love some peanuts.β
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