Your nose is so big that when you lie on your back in the pool, people think it’s a shark!
😄 😄 😄
I’m like a ninja at the gym.
Because you’ll never see me there.
😄 😄 😄
A blonde works in a petrol station filling up cars.
One day, a spaceship with “UFO” written on the side lands next to the blonde. The blonde cheerfully fills it with fuel and the spaceship flies off.
The blonde’s boss, shocked, comes out to ask why she filled it up.
“Do you know what “UFO” stands for?” He asks.
“Of course.” She replies, “Unleaded Fuel Only.”
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Good morning, world! Your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama’s so hairy that she gets mistaken for Chewbacca’s cousin.
😄 😄 😄
Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!
It’s a brand new day full of possibilities and bacon.
😄 😄 😄
I recently played in a Star Wars themed cricket match.
Every time the ball was delivered the umpire struck back.
😄 😄 😄
Where does Vin go after eating a really hot curry?
Da loo.
😄 😄 😄
What is the best way to sleep the night before an exam?
I sleep next to my notes, sincerely hoping they transfer into my brain by osmosis.
😄 😄 😄
How does Uranus apologize?
It says “I’m sorry, I need some space”.
😄 😄 😄
How was your ear operation?
Thursday.
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My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
It was the end of my Korea.
😄 😄 😄
Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford Comma walk into a bar.
Both of them have a great time.
😄 😄 😄
What is a vampire’s worst fear?
Tooth decay.
😄 😄 😄
I got abducted by aliens...
I was told to do my all chores, eat my veggies, take a shower and brush my teeth.
It was then I realized I was in the mother ship.
😄 😄 😄
What’s a guitarist’s favor type of cheese?
Shredded cheese.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops!
😄 😄 😄
Why did the girl sit on the clock?
She just wanted to be on time.
😄 😄 😄
I made a blue smoothie today.
It was berry good.
😄 😄 😄
If a jockey wears jockey shorts, and a basketball player wears basketball shorts, what kind of shorts does the President wear?
Depends.
😄 😄 😄
