The last twenty-five years have been a bizarre time to grow up.
For instance, I've lived through more Spider-Man re-boots than legitimate presidential elections.
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Your mama so stupid I told her Christmas was around the corner and she went looking for it.
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A good friend of mineβFrankβowns and operates a struggling Hot Dog business.
He recently turned to social media to help boost sales though and is determined to make every post a weiner.
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Your boyfriend doesnβt get your fruit puns?
You got to let that mango.
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Mickey was walking home one day and saw Goofy also walking home, except Goofy was carrying his bicycle.
Mickey asked, βGoofy, why are you carrying your bicycle?β
Goofy replied, βBecause it is too tired to walk.β
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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and poops out grizzly bears.
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Why doesnβt the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
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Yo mama so fat the horse on her polo shirt is real.
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I got fired from my job as a chef for stealing kitchen equipment.
Itβs a whisk I was willing to take.
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My granddad always said you should fight fire with fire.
Maybe thatβs why he got fired from the fire service.
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Chuck Norris canβt be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
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Youβre so stupid they had to burn down the school to get you out of 3rd grade.
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Whatβs the only drink size they allow in North Korea?
A supreme liter.
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Iβm out of bed and I made it to the keyboard. What more do you want?
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Whatβs a hydraulic ram used for?
Itβs where you get steel wool.
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How did the pig get out of the tree?
The swine flu.
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Who told the most jokes among the colonists?
Punsylvanians.
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What do you call guys who love math?
Algebros.
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Why do programmers and coders hate nature?
It has too many bugs.
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