A boss was waiting in his office one day when he noticed that all of his workers were missing.
He waits a few more minutes before the first worker comes in.
“Why were you late?” asked the boss.
Sounding exhausted, the worker says, “Sorry boss, but my car broke down on the way to work so I tried the bus, but the bus broke down so I hailed a cab, but the cab broke down, but fortunately I was near a stable, but the horse ran so fast it had a heart attack and I had to jog the rest of the way.”
The boss thinks nothing of it and sends the worker off.
The next 2 workers come in to check in and the boss asks them the same question, “Why were you late?”
The workers give the boss the exact same reason, “Sorry boss, but my car broke down on the way to work so I tried the bus, but the bus broke down so I hailed a cab, but the cab broke down, but fortunately I was near a stable, but the horse ran so fast it had a heart attack and I had to jog the rest of the way.”
The boss thinks that he must be losing his mind, but sends the workers off anyways.
Finally, the last worker comes in and the boss says, “Let me guess, your car broke down on the way to work so you tried the bus, but the bus broke down so you hailed a cab, but the cab broke down, but fortunately, you were near a stable, but the horse ran so fast it had a heart attack and you had to jog the rest of the way?”
The worker said, “No boss, you got it all wrong, you see, there were so many broken down cars, buses, cabs, dead horses and crazed joggers in the streets, it was impossible to get through.”
😄 😄 😄
Some aliens in a flying saucer offered to fly me to the moon.
But they wouldn’t let us land because the moon was full.
😄 😄 😄
Peter goes golfing every Saturday.
One Saturday, he comes home tired and five hours late.
His wife asks him, “What took you so long?”
Peter says, “That was the worst game of golf I’ve ever had. We got up to the first tee, and Harry hit a hole-in-one and immediately dropped dead of a heart attack.”
Peter’s wife says, “OMG! That’s terrible!”
Peter says, “I know. Then, for the rest of the game it was: hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry. . .”
😄 😄 😄
Elon’s opening speech for the Tesla Solar Roof really got my attention...
Who knew there were thousands of hot shingles in my area?!
😄 😄 😄
For a long time, I was told I should weigh myself naked because it’s the most accurate way of measuring my weight.
If that’s true, I still don’t get why I was kicked out of the pharmacy.
😄 😄 😄
Coronavirus is all Gen Z’s fault.
They wanted everything to go viral, now look what’s happened.
😄 😄 😄
Three elderly ladies sit on a park bench.
The first tells her companions, “Wow, it’s windy today.”
The second responds, “No, it’s Thursday.”
The third says, “So am I. Let’s get a drink.”
😄 😄 😄
What did the polar bears say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags?
Mmmm, sandwiches!
😄 😄 😄
From now on, I will avoid food that gives me diarrhea.
It’s a solid plan.
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What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A dinosnore.
😄 😄 😄
Why is it impossible for students to sleep 8 hours every day?
Because school is only 6 hours a day!
😄 😄 😄
What would you name Will if he was one of the Wheelers?
Third Wheeler.
😄 😄 😄
Why are two medians in a single data set funny?
Because it’s a co-median.
😄 😄 😄
My interviewer leaned back in his chair and said, “Forget everything you learned in college. You won’t need it working here.”
“But I never went to college,” I replied.
“Well then, I’m sorry. You are underqualified to work here,” he said, as he showed me the door.
😄 😄 😄
Why do Swedish battleships have barcodes on them?
So that when they come into port, they can Scandinavian.
😄 😄 😄
What happens when one fungi marries another fungi?
They become fungus!
😄 😄 😄
What says “Pieces of nine, Pieces of nine”?
A Parroty Error.
😄 😄 😄
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
😄 😄 😄
What’s the best drink they make in space?
Le-moon-ade!
😄 😄 😄
Why do people on Earth like the way the planet rotates?
Because it makes their day.
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