Unfortunately, many mushroom puns are in spore taste.
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What do you call the phenomenon where nobody can hear you on Zoom?
A Mute-ation.
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What’s the only type of melon that changes colors at will?
A chamelon.
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I hate when I’m on the treadmill and my hand accidentally hits the stop button and I have to get off and eat a grilled bacon and cheese sandwich.
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What would you name Will if he was one of the Wheelers?
Third Wheeler.
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“Man, my sinuses are on fire!”
“An allergy?”
“No, a metaphor.”
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CNN made a joke article for April Fools.
Just another day in the office.
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What’s a teacher’s favorite way to celebrate National Teacher Day on May 2nd?
By giving students a pop quiz to see if they’ve been may-taining their knowledge.
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My kids have recently been super obsessed with the moon and my wife is starting to get worried.
I told her not to worry, it’s only a phase.
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The ice cream parlor asks for my order.
Parlor: “Hello Sir, can I take your order?”
Me: “Yes, I’d like a male hot fudge sundae please.”
Parlor: “I’m sorry Sir, a male hot fudge sundae?”
Me: “Yes, with nuts.”
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Outbreak: New Strain of Bird Flu Discovered!!!
It’s called Chirpies.
It’s a Canarial Disease.
It’s Untweetable.
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What do you give an influencer with bad breath?
A tik tok.
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What city is the feminist capital of the world?
Manhatin’.
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Your mama’s so short she sat on a coin and her feet didn’t touch the ground.
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Can you hear the birds singing?
Good! That means you’re awake.
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Pessimists are like German vegetarians.
They fear the wurst.
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Why do Pokémons like to eat sunflower seeds?
Because they like to pick and chew.
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A wise man once told me, if a bee is bothering you, don’t swat or run away, just stand still and look right at it.
Because seeing is believing.
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Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts!
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What do you call an exploration mission to Uranus?
Colonoscopy.
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