Call me a dentist, because you are too sweet.
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What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?
Plenty of room.
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Yo mama’s so weak-minded that I got her to lead me to Jabba without using a Jedi mind trick!
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I used to have a problem with my sinuses.
Until I bought a calculator.
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The flu is kinda like my last girlfriend.
Lasted for 2 weeks and got it from my best friend.
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Why did Spider-Man flush the toilet?
Because it was his duty!
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Those who study the moon are real optimists, they tend to look at the bright side.
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Yo mama’s so dumb she thought a lightsaber has fewer calories!
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I recently ran an ultra marathon in northern Sweden.
I realized that I had gone way off course as soon as I crossed the Finnish line.
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Why didn’t the barber ask the question about beards?
He was shaving it for later.
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A farmer plays a prank on Easter Sunday.
After the egg hunt, he sneaks into the chicken coop and replaces every white egg with a brightly colored one.
Minutes later, the rooster walks in.
He spots the colored eggs, then storms out and beats up the peacock.
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The last twenty-five years have been a bizarre time to grow up.
For instance, I've lived through more Spider-Man re-boots than legitimate presidential elections.
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Your mama so stupid I told her Christmas was around the corner and she went looking for it.
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A good friend of mine—Frank—owns and operates a struggling Hot Dog business.
He recently turned to social media to help boost sales though and is determined to make every post a weiner.
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Your boyfriend doesn’t get your fruit puns?
You got to let that mango.
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Mickey was walking home one day and saw Goofy also walking home, except Goofy was carrying his bicycle.
Mickey asked, “Goofy, why are you carrying your bicycle?”
Goofy replied, “Because it is too tired to walk.”
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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and poops out grizzly bears.
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Why doesn’t the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
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Yo mama so fat the horse on her polo shirt is real.
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