You Must Be A Redneck If...
* You recycle your own toilet paper * Your mom has to shave more times a month than your dad * You see a bill board that says "Don't do crack" and it reminds you to pull up your pants. * You stare ...
Taming The Parrot
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and [...]
Read MoreHow long have I got? Call my Lawyer!
A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked “Give it to me straight. How long have I got?” The physician replied that he doubted that his patient would survive the night. The man then said “Call for my lawyer.” When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his [...]
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Read More Lawyer in Heaven
An attorney passed on and found himself in heaven, but not at all happy with his accommodations. He complained to St. Peter, who told him that his only recourse was to appeal his assignment. The attorney immediately advised that he intended to appeal, but was then told that he would be waiting at least three [...]
Read MoreIdk
Sent from this eye test Look for the lower case Letters and you will be kissed tomorrow.LLLLLLLLlLLL Now look for the N those is really hard MMMMMMMMMNMMMMM Now find the mistake ABCDEFGHIJKLNMOPQRSTUVWXYZ now make a wish of something you really want AFTER the countdown 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 Now close your eyes and make a wish ***********. Now [...]
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Read More Best Friends?
There once were two Irishmen, named Shawn and Pat, who were the best of friends. During one particular night of revelry, the two agreed that when one passed on, the other would take and spill the contents of a bottle of fine, Irish whiskey over the grave of the fondly missed and recently dead friend. [...]
Read MoreCarpet Accident
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. “No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes” he said to himself. He proceeded to [...]
Read MoreThe Blonde Wife
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband [...]
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Speeding Ticket
A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer pulled him over and began to issue a traffic ticket. “How did you know I was speeding?” the frustrated driver asked. The police officer pointed somberly toward the sky. “You mean,” asked the motorist, “that even HE is against [...]
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